We’re Better Than This

I have started, trashed and restarted writing these words for three consecutive days now. I first felt compelled to write after the Alton Sterling shooting in Louisiana, then again after the Philando Castile shooting in Minnesota and now after being up and glued to my tv another night watching the police ambush in Dallas. What is going on in our country?

I was raised to treat police officers with respect. I was taught that they were there to protect people. I looked at them as heroes who kissed their families goodbye, went to work and put their lives on the line everyday. I was never taught to fear police officers. I was never taught to fear being pulled over for a traffic violation for anything other than the consequences of a traffic ticket. I was never told to expect anything but fair and lawful treatment from an officer during an encounter. That was the bubble I lived in.

I wasn’t aware of things; terrifying things that were going on all over the country to racial minorities. I was too busy worrying that every day that my dad went to work, he might get hurt or killed in the line of duty. My father was a police officer for twenty seven years. Because of that, I was raised with an entirely different set of realities and worries. I had a lot of privileges because of who my dad was. I also had a lot of fear. I grew up with people not being afraid to tell me to my face that they hated my dad. I also knew that there were people in our world who would like to harm my dad (or any police officer) simply because he was a police officer.

The events in Dallas are what every husband, wife, parent or child of a police officer fears for their loved one. You know that your loved one will be running toward the danger while everyone else is running away. That’s what they signed up for, whether you like it or not. The events in Minnesota and Louisiana are what black people fear for themselves, their spouse and their children. You never know whether it is a good cop or bad cop you’re going to encounter and what simple thing might escalate that encounter. That’s the reality of our world today, whether you like it or not. Both of these fears are real and justifiable.

As an adult I’ve understood there are good cops, bad cops and good cops who make bad decisions. My eyes were opened when I moved to another part of the country where racism seemed to be alive, well and way more socially acceptable. With that culture shock came a new understanding of what a racial minority faced during an average encounter with the police. This is not to say this is true everywhere 100% of the time but we would all be foolish and naive to not recognize that we are not all treated equally.

Every time I turn on the news and hear about another controversial and devastating instance of police brutality my heart sinks. I am sad for the loss of a life and that the encounter had to end that way, but I am also hoping that the police officer acted in the way that I was raised to think all police officers acted. I wish, every time, that it will be obvious that the police officer had no choice but to do what he or she did out of self-defense for his or her own life.  On more than one occasion, I’ve been let down. It is hard to admit when the police are in the wrong because I feel as though it discredits the hard work of so many honest, hard-working and caring police officers like my father and many others.  That doesn’t mean we can turn a blind eye to these injustices and make excuses for the behavior. It happens. It happens more than it should and it should NOT be so commonplace in our society.

I am emotionally and intellectually capable of mourning the loss of Sterling, Castile and every officer who was killed in Dallas. I have enough compassion as a human being to weep for the unnecessary loss of another human being. I can be the daughter of a police officer and believe that Black Lives Matter. I can support and love my black friends and family and still believe Blue Lives Matter. What I can’t do is continue to remain silent about an issue that is so out of control in our country.

I also believe we all have it in us, deep down, to feel compassion for both the two black men who lost their lives this week as well as the officers in Dallas who were injured or killed. There is so much division in our country and our world right now. Tensions feel to be at an all-time high internationally and right here on our own soil. My hope is that our country does not continue to allow itself to be divided on the opinion that Blue Lives Matter any more than Black Lives Matter. No one person’s life is more important than another.

We cannot rely on the media to steer us in the right direction or provide us with information not skewed to the left or right. We cannot rely on our political leaders to do what’s best for all Americans and lead us out of this very dark hole we are in. What we can do is have compassion for one another. We can be kind to one another regardless of our differences. We can treat ALL LIVES with respect and fight this hate with love and rational thinking.

Do not let the media or politicians prey on our fear and convince us that all police are corrupt and racist. Do not let them tell you that all black people will take their anger to the top of a building with a rifle and kill police to even the score. All of the hatred that is infecting us and spreading is doing so because of fear. We’re smarter than that. We’re not a bunch of kids you can scare into believing the boogie man is under our bed. We’re Americans. We are supposed to be a civilized, educated, free society. Let’s be better than this. There are too many politicians and money makers out there relying on you to be fearful and act on that fear or their agenda won’t work. Let’s come together, treat each other equally and stand up for those who need it. Let’s be the UNITED States of America, land of the FREE, home of the BRAVE.

 

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